I remember a cold and windy morning back in the late 80s, I was standing in a line with the other girls in my class. It was time to be picked for a team sport side. Two captains were chosen and then they got to pick who were on their teams. The pretty girl was picked first, then the tall one, then the popular girls next and then the short one… everyone was picked – except {you all knew this was coming right?} ME. I was left standing on the side line. Wondering why I hadn’t been picked. Wondering what I was lacking. It was a cold and lonely moment.
I have felt like this for a lot of my life. Like the one left standing on the side line watching everyone else playing the game. High school was a mine field of friendship sides and who was cool and who was not. I found myself awkwardly standing on the line of neither, and neither side knew what to do with me. It was tough.
I married young, which again, put me in an awkward position. Yes, we were married, but not ready to have children, but we were not really in the night clubbing set anymore either. We were on the line betwixt the two. When we moved to London, we loved it, but we knew we were only there for a short time. We had to decide if we invested in friendships or stayed a little bit aloof? Again, stuck on the line of being fully engaged or just standing on the side line.
Just lately, I have realised that my life has changed. I don’t feel as if I am standing on the side line as much. I have amazing friends who encourage, support and challenge me. I have people asking me to do things more and more, which is so great! I have been asked to speak and write and teach and befriend all kinds of amazing people. It is just so fabulous. Just last week I had coffee with an amazing girl, who will now be one of my peeps, I have decided, she is all kinds of fabulous, and I just know that there is a reason why we have finally gotten around to catching up. Then on Monday I had lunch with another fantastic lady who just wants to get to know me better, she sees something special in me. I find this puzzling, what is there to see? The calibre of people in my life astounds me. Such grace and brains and sense and insight and love found within my circles of friends is so … so…. amazing.
It is so great that after years and years of feeling like I don’t really fit in, that I am not really in the mix playing the game, that I am now being asked to be on people’s teams. And not just any teams, but teams full of quality, beautiful, loving people. It is so great.
So… for this I am thankful. I am thankful that I am feeling as if I am having a good shot at life. I have dreams and goals and plans and friends and new friends and family and a totally cute husband and adorable children. Life is great. Life is cool! Love it! Live it! Share it!
As usual, I am linking in with the ever so lovely Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday…
What are you thankful for today? Friends? Family? Life? Tell me…
The image at the top is a t-shirt from the fabulous t-shirt makers at threadless.com…. I found this hoodie – I really want it …. It is called ‘The Beheading of Antoinette‘ – too FUNNY!
This is such a cute, beautiful post!!
Your happiness bleeds through this post!!
Cami recently posted..Thankful Thursday, 5.3.12
Thanks Cami, I have a fabulous life, good to be thankful for it.
Thanks for stopping by. Hugs, B.
I am glad you have found some new friends and feel your truth worth with people who care and enjoy you.
I know the feeling too of being last or next to last picked.
Trish recently posted..Thankful for time – Do Something With It
Thanks for stopping by Trish! I think we have all been last picked at some point, here’s hoping it has made us all more welcoming of others.
Thanks for sharing this. I too know the feeling of not being part of a group of people. For too many years A and I have been each others best friend and I guess moving countries makes that even more so. As yet I don’t have a groupl of people where I feel I belong in a physical form, but I have met some amazingly supportive and encouraging people on the internet and I would love to meet up with them. One day it will happen !
Have a great evening !
Me
Me recently posted..Thankful Thursday
Thanks for taking the time to comment… It means a lot.
Moving country is tough – you have to start from scratch but also have ties that you have left behind. I love that the internet keeps me in contact with lots of friends, cousins and relatives all over the world. I bet it is the same with you?
I can really relate to your post….I often feel like I’m standing on the outside looking in…through high school and even still today. I am so happy that read that you have found such a wonderful group of friends to belong to
Nicole (SportyMummy) recently posted..Thankful for Grandmas
Thanks Nicole. I wonder if all those people who feel left out started a group, would we still feel left out? I have had to realise that it is not so much the group leaving me out as it is me not stepping in to the game. Ouch – that was a hard thing to acknowledge! Darn learning life lessons….
What a wonderful attitude you have!
Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you
Rhianna recently posted..Thanks to The Surprise Beginning
Thanks Rhianna! Feeling those butterfly kisses! ;0)
SNAP! I have been there too and like you, am just starting to feel like I’m fitting in. See, we are cool B
Née Say recently posted..A NeeSayer’s Guide to Managing Social Media
It’s amazing how when a person reveals they’ve been feeling ‘on the outside’ all their life, so many others can relate. I think this feeling is o very common, but most people hide it for the longest time feeling that somehow it’s their own failure. I can add my voice to the chorus of ‘Me too!’s. I found the internet very helpful in finding people like me, and some of them even lived close by! Happy to hear it’s happening for you, too!
Sif recently posted..Thankful Thursday: Little things…
Thanks Sif… I am guessing that feeling left out is a human condition…?! I think if we all acted as if we all feel left out we would all be more welcoming and friendly and therefore feel more connected! #brainpop – I am going to start thinking like this… yes, I am.
When we moved to London, we loved it, but we knew we were only there for a short time. We had to decide if we invested in friendships or stayed a little bit aloof? Again, stuck on the line of being fully engaged or just standing on the side line.