Let’s talk about something I haven’t talked about for a while. My weight. Oh joy of joys, what a great topic to write about. But, it has been on my mind a lot…
Before I had children, I was really, really overwieght. When I look at photos of myself back then, I feel embarrassed and remorseful and remember how utterly low I felt. Between having all my babies, I lost about 20kg. I felt fabulous – like, really fabulous. I was so proud of myself, Mr Cool was proud of me, my mum was proud of me – I felt unstoppable! I lost the weight doing weight watchers and running. I trained and ran a half marathon. Impressive hey!
Then, in December last year I tried a contraception that had me gain over 6kg in about as many weeks. It was a shock. I went to the doctor, I went to a herbalist and I did what they said. I had blood tests, I drank weird teas and I rested. Basically, the contraception sent my thyroid into some kind of crazy spac attack. Then my adrenals followed suit. I was burnt out, stressing out and felt like a woman on the edge. After a few months, I got my hormones and things sorted out, finally, things started to settle and a blood test revealed that my thyroid was again functioning within the normal range. But, the weight, it just wasn’t coming off.
I started reading some things about health and thryoids and hormones and decided to stop eating sugar. It was a massive life change. I went through withdrawal and learnt a lot about reading labels and where sugar was hidden in foods. I felt so much better being free of sugar. Really, I felt great. But, my weight didn’t shift. I thought about just going back to eating sugar, but when Mr Cool said I was easier to live with without sugar, I really couldn’t go back.
In July I damaged my ear flying when I had a head cold. I had what is known as ‘Baro Trauma’ which is basically trauma to the balance organ in my left ear. I had vertigo and felt awful, the doctor put me on mega steroids and said that the recovery for this would be months, not weeks. I am still not convinced that my ear is totally better, I had a little go on a swing the other day and felt awful for the next few hours, so I am guessing there is still some residual damage in there.
I have learnt that to lose any real weight, I have to exercise, hard, for a long time before I start seeing any downward movement on the scales. In September, I felt so much better within myself and decided it was time to start getting back into running again. So, I started out really slowly and was encouraged by my progress. Then one morning, I picked up BabyCool and strained my back. Badly. It was a deep sprain in my very lower back. Physio and ultrasound and lots of stretching and certainly no running had me feeling like I was back to square one. Sigh.
Now, it is October. My hormones are all in check, adrenals are fine {considering all that goes along with my little life}, my ear is getting better all the time and my back is feeling stronger than it has for a long time – I am ready to move again. Last week I managed four walks. It felt amazing! I was out, in the fresh air, with thoughts to think and sunrises to see… I loved it and was so glad I did {enjoy it}, after almost a year without proper exercising, it felt good to have that burn inside me wanting to push myself more and more.
I was moaning about my weight to Mr Cool the other day and was stopped mid-sentence by the realisation that the excuses for me not exercising this year are actually valid. Wow! In my twenties, I came up with a hundred excuses why I couldn’t find time to excerise and would have LOVED some of the excuses I have this year {without the being sick bits though!}.
So, although I feel as if I have lost a year to medical madness, I have to hold on to the successes I have had this year in other areas. And, life has been great. There are so many cool things happening, it is amazing. And… I will run again. I know I will. I simply can’t see this year as a failure. It has not been, it has been a year of lots of learning and lots of other great things. I need to stop beating myself up about my weight. Really…
Do you measure your success by the size of your jeans?
Or do you have one of those {annoying} healthy approaches to your body?
Do you have excuses why you are not exercising?
{B is asking the curly q’s today!}
I’m going to start my commenet by knocking on wood. I know what it’s like to get gungho about exercise and have an injury set back. It took me 12 months after blowing my ankle out to get back into it. And now I’m 4 months into group personal training and 6 months into running. I’ve lost 10kgs and while I don’t necessarily measure my success on the number on the tag of my shorts, I do measure it by how I feel fitness wise and personality wise. I am definitely fitter, and definitely happier, and I think it’s a combination of all of it – fresh air, exercise, weight loss (which really is more of a confidence boost than anything else). Good on you for kicking sugar. It scares me to think about how much sugar is consumed in this house. Though I’m sure it’s much less now that we are eating a bit healthier, it’s a long way from being completely cut out. That’s interesting about your husband saying you’re easier to live with off sugar. Makes you realise how much it actually affects us.
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I can come up with any excuse under the sun NOT to exercise…but I seem to be finding more and more reasons TO exercise lately! I’m not the fittest, or the strongest, or the fastest. I just do what I enjoy and feel capable of doing. I have a wonderful personal trainer who I see once a week, I go for walks in the mornings, I do interval running on the treadmill, sometimes I take classes at the gym. The main thing is I try to do something active at least 4 times per week because I just feel so much better for it – physically, mentally and emotionally. Good on you, B! You most certainly will run again one day. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. xx
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I do exercise and have always exercised but my problem is diet. I do like wine and I know I would be able to get to my goal weight if I stopped with the wine. That’s not much fun though. I have to come up with a happy medium. Rachel x
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I recently broke with my gym and have gained a bit of weight. I have no excuses not to exercise. I simply prefer to spend my free time blogging and drinking coffee. I admire your tenacity.
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I’ve had years of chronic illness when I’ve been unable to exercise. Some days I was physically unable to get out of bed, let alone walk or even run. I’ve come so far but I still have a long way to go. Muscle tone that needs to be re-established.
But I’m back on the exercise track. I like to trick myself into it – Boyo and I have been walking more, to and from school and out and about in the weekend. I’m doing Pilates one-on-one once a week. We went for a family bike ride this morning. I’m being more careful about what I’m eating again. I eat too much good food, rather than too much crap (although I do love a sweet treat!).