Life: How To Be Cool – Part 2 – Know Who You Are

Last week I told you all about my speaking engagement at a Craft Retreat…

My talk was in three parts

1) My Story – or part there of

2) The 5 Elements of Cool

3) Reflection Time

Last week I told you part of my Post Natal Depression story…

Over the next five weeks, I am going to give you 5 Elements of Cool, these elements will stand the test of time, {unlike Gangnam Style}! These have come out of a few years of furrowed brow thinking, book and blog reading and general observations.

 The first element of cool is….


  • This is key.
  • Know what you are good at. I am good at cooking and writing and teaching and being sarcastic.
  • Know what you are not good at. I am no good with numbers, really, I hate them. I would also make a terrible doctor, dentist, nurse or chemist…. makes me shudder just thinking about it.


As I faced my Depression head on, I began to work out who I was. By losing weight, finding new friends and getting back into work, I was able to get a clearer idea of what I could do and also was able to guage how others saw me. I was strong and courageous and imaginative and hard working, all good things. It took a lot of time to teach myself how to look for the good, I think we are taught to see the good in others and to accept them for who and what they are, but we don’t always give ourselves the same courtesy.

Once I worked out who I was {and that process never really ends it turns out}, I could begin adding things to my life that brought me joy, which in turn made me feel better, which in turn helped me to be a better mother, wife and friend. By giving myself permission to write has been amazing, I have been longing to write for years and could never really find ways to fit it into my life. But, starting my blog has brought so much joy and satisfaction that I wonder how I spent all that energy before! I also learnt that I was a much better person when I exercised. I learnt to love running, which in turn turned me into a {finally} thin and fit chick-a-dee as well as the satisfaction that comes from setting goals and kicking them.

When I began my quest about ‘Being Cool’ I really thought I would spend more time shopping and playing with my hair. I didn’t realise I would spend so much time thinking about myself and having to ask myself some hard questions. I don’t know if I will ever stop learning new things about myself or about others, but that is life isn’t it? To be open to change and to ask yourself the hard questions and to be working at being a better you – every day.


Here are some questions for you to think about…

Right at this moment, are you happy with who you are?

Are you giving yourself time to focus on working on who you are?

Are you doing things that drag you down and stop you from being who you are meant to be? {Ironing doesn’t count here!}

What is something you would love to do, but have never given yourself permission to do?


I am not a counsellor, but I have walked through some dark days.

If you wanted to email me about anything my email address is:



I am linking in with Flog Your Blog Friday – with ‘With Some Grace‘… Check out more great blogs there…

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  1. Wendy Langerak says:

    I am good at eating, shopping (aka wasting money), reading, procrastinating and worrying. Wish I was better at organising my office at home, cleaning my kitchen cupboards and keeping up my fitness regime. But I do like myself most of the time, wish I wasn’t so loud and obnoxious, but I do try and temper it a bit more these days. I love my family, near and far, and plan to spend some lovely time over christmas just chilling out and spending time with them!

    • I think you have been through enough in your life to know who you are, and I think you are totally cool.

      Can’t believe you are selling your green doc martins… But I understand they are kind of like from another life.

      As long as we are growing and learning and being open enough to see our strenghts as well as our faults then we are the coolest people on the planet.
      B recently posted..Life: Being Cool & Guest Speaking – Part 2My Profile

  2. Timing! Yesterday I was driving along thinking to myself, I’m quite comfortable in my own skin, I know who I am at the moment, and this makes me very happy!
    You’re such a gem B, love these posts x
    Kelly HTandT recently posted..Dettol Power & PureMy Profile

  3. Hi B, and like the above commenter, I am feeling pretty cool right now. It’s good. Do you know there is a lot to be said for those dark days and in my case for a difficult situation as a child. If you get the help, if you do the hard yards, honestly I believe you gain SO MUCh wisdom and strength. Including the strength to ask for help.
    Seana Smith recently posted..Sydney’s Best Water Slides – For Kids and Their FamiliesMy Profile

    • Oh, I soooo agree! There is someone in my life who has not faced the issues and is now in a cycle of expecting things from others that are unreasonable and a lot of blame and criticsm. By taking ownership of my own crapola and coming to a place of self acceptance has been so empowering! Mind you, I can’t seem to be accepting of the 10kg I have piled on this year despite being sugar free – damn you thyroid!

      Thanks for your comment love!

  4. This is great post B, and so true. One of my favourite quotes is “The day you stop learning is the day you die”.

    I think most days I am pretty happy with myself. I’ve found my feet at home, as a mother, at work and I know what I want to do, its now just all about timing.

    The two things that I would love to do that I am too scared to at the moment is photography and singing. I sang a lot growing up and I was singing with a band for about a year before I got married but the life got in the way and I would love to do it again one day. I would also love to do more with my photography, learn so much more, so that one day I might have the confidence to make a career out of it.
    Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions recently posted..Word AbuseMy Profile

    • Thanks for taking the time to comment…

      I love that you are working out how to fit in the things you LOVE in amongst the mix of children and work and … well… LIFE!

      If you really love it, you have room for it in your life.

      There will be more shoes in my life. Yes, there will!

  5. I sat here for a while trying to work out what I am good at. Hmmm. I’m a good listener. People seem to seek me out to talk about their problems. I love that they feel better after talking it out. Rachel x
    Rachel from Redcliffe Style recently posted..6 Top Photo Editing Apps for your iPhoneMy Profile

  6. I’m finally reaching a place where I am either comfortable within myself about things or am making changes on the things I am less comfortable with. I think it has come from a combination of things – being older and wiser now, having seen the dark days and with my kidlets all past dependent baby stage but I am more in tune with me. I am good at making stuff, organising and craft and make more time to do those things now than I have ever before.
    Stacey-Lee recently posted..TEAM Friday: Morning Person Mind TrainingMy Profile